Oooh Matron!
by terfle
Summary: A look into what Matron's life as a nurse used to be before she grew up into the stern matriarch of the Royal. Invented name used


'Matron please.'

'Sorry, she's not here at the moment.'

The lady on the other end of the phone sounded put out.

'When will she be back?'

'Don't know.' Liz raised her eyebrows at the other nurses in exasperation. They exploded into giggles. 'She's on her smoking break right now.'

'Don't say that! Lunch break' hissed one.

'What's the point? She's not.'

'Just tell her that will you? She can't blame it on us, can she?' said the other.

The lady on the phone was getting seriously cranky now.

'I demand that you get me the next in charge!'

'Yep, that's me.'

'I don't speak to juniors' Mrs Horwood told her acidly.

Liz reddened slightly. 'Hang on a moment.' She slammed the phone on the table and looked at the others disbelievingly.

'She's getting it now.' Liz made up her mind. Tossing her hair back and ignoring the simultaneous gasps from the others, she picked up the phone and intoned in a nasal voice 'Hello, this is Matron.'

'Thank goodness' the petulant voice continued. 'That incompetent nurse of yours was rather slow in getting you to the phone. Made up some tosh about you being on your smoking break.'

'Camels, that's what I smoke. Awwwfully good for you, don't you know?' she smiled as the others gasped in delightful horror.

'Excuse me?'

'Well everyone smokes them these days, don't they? It's just not compatible with other types. I knew a lady once, smoked a packet of something else, her husband took off with the gardener.'

'I don't know any female gardeners.'

'This one was' she drawled, a glint in her eye. 'Straight off the boat from the Shetlands.' Staff nurse Lewis stuffed her hanky in her mouth. There was a pregnant pause on the other end. 'I can recommend a good place for cheap cigarettes if you fancy she said cheekily, aware that Matron was bearing down the corridor already; back from her lunch break.

'I don't smoke! Disgusting habit. That is not the issue I have come to phone about.'

'Well you should have thought about that before you phoned.' The receiver was slammed down on its cradle just before hankies were taken out of mouths and The Great Dragon herself approached the guilty party by the phone.

'Now we all know what we are to do when no apparent duties are to be completed, don't we?'

'Yes Matron' droned the girls.

Boring...Liz stared at the phone for a while, tracing patterns on the tabletop aimlessly with her finger. Realising something was being said, she tuned back in.

'And for Heavens sake, stop clustering around for the phone. It's not a toy.'

As soon as her ample backside had strode through the door, they clutched each other and shrieked with mirth, laughter reverberating around the walls, making the glass panes ring merrily and the light seem just that bit brighter.

Nurse Taylor - 'That was mean. You know Matron doesn't smoke.'

Nurse Lewis - 'It was just a joke. I would have loved to see her face though.'

Nurse Palmer - 'Stuffy old trout. _I don't talk to juniors._ Like she's the bloody Queen or something.'

'Now now, that's not language for a lady to use' a passing voice called from over her shoulder. Doctor Farrar was walking past, papers under one arm, stethoscope tucked handsomely in the folds of his collar, a flicker of a smile at the trio of nurses by the phone. A blush or two was exchanged. Nurse Taylor giggled. His gaze alighted on staff nurse Palmer and his eyes twinkled. 'Nice to see someone having a bit of fun around this place. Tone it down though a bit eh? Matron's on the prowl.'

A considerable amount of squealing was heard down the corridors that lunch break. Almost every nurse had her eye on Dr Farrar. Tall and handsome with raven dark hair and flashing blue eyes, he was the sweetheart of the hospital. He seemed to warm to Liz a tad more than the others. She didn't mind being associated with him; it raised her credibility in a group of frivolous nurses from slightly more privileged backgrounds. Her quick wit and repartee had earned herself a reputation through the hospital. Also many punishments from Matron, but she made that part of her charm. It was usual to see Staff nurse Elizabeth Palmer coming doing chores like scrubbing bedpans or something of the sort. She felt her pulse quicken slightly at the thought of him. She was sure he'd ask her to dance at the next party.

'So do you think he'll ask you to dance?' Nurse Lewis started stacking up towels on the trolley haphazardly.

'There's no one else he'll take' Liz winked. 'Mind you, that new receptionist is giving him the eye a lot.'

'Maybe she thinks she's in with a chance.'

'Yeah right, like that's even possible. Have you seen the size of her teeth? Who wants that upstaging a doctor?' Liz smirked.

'So how far have you got with him anyway? Not too far I hope, you've got to give the rest of us a chance!' giggled nurse Lewis

'You be careful' Nurse Taylor wagged her finger at her. 'It only takes one dance and one split second for you to decide while he's busy fumbling with your straps.'

Yeah right. Like she was going to let him near her straps. Mum would kill her. She still didn't know about the water syringe stunt, waiting at the corner like that was bound to create suspicion. She didn't mean to target poor Mr Hayworth with his dog and shopping trolley. She smothered a giggle and brought her mind back to the present.

'You know what Matron would say' Liz wagged her finger. 'Thou shalt not have relations with thy Doctor until after hours. It is just not professional.'

'Forget professional, WHEN IS HE GOING TO ASK YOU OUT?' chorused inquisitive voices.

A dry voice behind them stopped their speculation right there. 'Surely not a confession to make, nurse?'

Dammit.


End file.
